Supporting Others

Courtney Murrison
September 7, 2022

Have you ever been in a situation where you can clearly see that someone is in distress... But you weren’t sure what to do about it? You aren’t that close, they probably don’t want to talk about it with you. What if you say the wrong thing and make it worse? It’s probably easier to just pretend you didn’t notice and move on. 

Easier, maybe - but is it right? We are a pretty tight-knit group here at Vendasta, and I know that more often than not we want to be there for each other, to help our team in any way we can. But not knowing what to do or say in order to help someone is a major blocker! 

Today I am going to provide you with some tools and resources for how you CAN help! 

Other times, it’s not so clear! People are pretty good at masking their internal battles, especially in the workplace where it is expected of you! 

Here is a list of generic warning signs that a coworker may be struggling with mental health:

Changes in work habits
Whether it’s because of fatigue, lack of sleep, anxieties, or something else, mental health issues make it hard to focus and be productive. A lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, or lower-than-normal productivity could be a symptom of a deeper mental health issue. 

Changes in physical appearance
If a coworker who typically arrives for work immaculately groomed starts regularly showing up unkempt in a holey sweatshirt and poor hygiene, it could be an indication that they’re having difficulty coping.

Changes in demeanor
Exhibiting excessive nervousness, restlessness, a heightened sensitivity, or irritability; seeming passive, worried, tense, or acting in unusual ways are all changes to look out for. These fears and anxieties are typically beyond a normal rationale.

Increased absenteeism or tardiness
When an employee who’s usually on time starts showing up late, missing meetings, or calling in sick more often, it could be a sign of a mental health disorder. Physical complaints, aches and pains, excessive fatigue, or just seeming generally “draggy” can be signs associated with depression and anxiety.

Outbursts and mood swings
Does a coworker seem unable to deal with the little things? Are they easily irritated, frustrated, or angered? Disruptive or inconsistent behaviour, flouting rules, or acting overly aggressive can all be red flags. These types of behaviours could be caused by a buildup of stress and anxiety.

Seeming withdrawn or avoiding interaction
An unwillingness to communicate, seeming withdrawn, avoiding social situations, self-imposed isolation, or retreating from interactions with others could be a cause for concern, especially if the employee is usually engaged in these types of activities. 

Changes in eating or sleeping behaviours
People with mental health concerns may not show dramatically evident symptoms, but even things like never eating at lunch, refusing to eat with co-workers, and a lack of sleep/insomnia could all be serious signs of mental health issues looming.

Abuse of drugs, alcohol, or other vices
Clearly this sign could be an issue all on its own, but if you are noticing an abnormal uptake in drug or alcohol use, it could be a sign of an attempt to ‘self medicate’ a deeper issue. 

It is important to note that these warning signs are a cause for concern when they are a change in someone’s normal behaviour, especially when more than one sign appears at once for an individual. For example - an introvert may normally not be super engaged in social situations. This is not a cause to speak to them about their mental health! However, if a known extrovert who is usually a happy, smiling person has suddenly withdrawn from weekly social get-togethers, started coming in late regularly, and has become easily irritated and snappy - this may mean something deeper is going on. 

So now you know to recognize the signs and symptoms of a co-worker who may be struggling… now what?! 

ALGEE

‘ALGEE’ is the first aid response to crisis situations. You can follow this acronym when you notice warning signs of an issue.

Approaching the Conversation

You’ve recognized the signs, and there have been enough to grow your concern. How should you approach this?

Know the limits of your relationship
Part of the decision on how to handle this situation is understanding your relationship. You suspect there might be an issue with this person, but are you the right person to say anything? As a peer who isn’t close with the person, it likely isn’t your place; However, you can express your concerns to a manager, and you can always offer advice if they ask for it - but don’t overstep your boundaries. 

As a manager, you might have an obligation to say something. And if you think you are close enough with this person to address it with them - keep following these steps! 

Have a plan
Don’t approach this topic off the cuff - you want to plan out your conversation! Timing and tone are important factors - you don’t want high tensions or frustration levels. 

Create a safe environment to talk
This conversation should happen in a relaxed and private setting. Invite them coffee! Don’t have it in a place other people  might overhear. 

Listen EMPATHETICALLY

Above all else - this is the most important thing to remember. You are not here to judge, diagnose, tell them what they should be doing, or make it about you. If this person has decided to open up to you - let them. 

Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond. 

Just sitting down and hearing them out can be beneficial to them. It helps to know that people recognize the issue but are not judging them for having it. And this may be all you do for the person!

Offer Support

Support can come in many forms, depending on the situation at hand. It may look like regular check-ins with the person to talk about how things are going. You can share internal and external resources with them - check out our Mental Health Toolkit on The Front Step! If the situation is more serious, you can help them make a call to a mental health hotline and offer to sit with them through it, or offer to help them book in with a mental health professional. 

When to Talk to Someone Else

Generally, you want to keep your observations and discussions confidential. But there are some situations in which you may want to enlist the help of others. 

Earlier we mentioned that going to the person’s manager about your concerns might be an option if you feel you are not close enough with the person to have the conversation, OR - if you feel the person’s behaviour is affecting your work or the workplace culture.  

Secondly - if you sense any sort of danger in the situation, either for the person in question or for yourself - seek help immediately!

Citations

https://engagedhr.com/how-to-spot-the-signs-mental-illness-at-work/
https://discoverymood.com/blog/warnings-signs-your-employee-has-a-mental-health-issue/
https://mentalhealthcommission.ca/resource/managers-toolkit-recognizing-declining-mental-health-in-employees/